Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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