I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
