just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
This house was built for laser tag.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
