HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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