Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
