oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
