Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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