But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Enjoy the penises
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
