whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
