My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
