You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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