so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he shaved USA in his pubs
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
