I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize