Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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