so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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