My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I looked at my own cervix.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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