He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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