I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Redeem this text for a blowjob
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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