pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
