i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
