Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
