She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
