Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
