why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
