You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize