What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
