My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
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It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
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I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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