I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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