Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
