White coat. Heels.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize