this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
