Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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