He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
