I miss vodka workout Fridays
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I want her autograph on my taint
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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