just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
