$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
