Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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