you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize