I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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