Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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