On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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