I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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