didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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