You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
