What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
