ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you had me at cake vodka
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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