Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
