Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
