just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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