I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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