'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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