Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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