Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
