Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
