The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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