Swine flu. Run for my life!
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize