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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend