Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl

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  (314): Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl http://tfl.nu/2p2x
  Replies (43) Good night (2749) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.

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  (801): She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid. http://tfl.nu/lqbk
  Replies (11) Good night (662) Bad night (2456)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.

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  (804): names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving. http://tfl.nu/d6qb
  Replies (8) Good night (3564) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Your favorite bartender is back from prision

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  (563): Your favorite bartender is back from prision http://tfl.nu/uuje
  Replies (12) Good night (6453) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?

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  (847): another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life? http://tfl.nu/u1gt
  Replies (29) Good night (1107) Bad night (4561)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.

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  (765): I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome. http://tfl.nu/mczw
  Replies (16) Good night (7996) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic

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  (414): Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic http://tfl.nu/n8i2
  Replies (1) Good night (1101) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.

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  (937): so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency. http://tfl.nu/1ixd
  Replies (3) Good night (1943) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.

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  (302): Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike. http://tfl.nu/7q3x
  Replies (2) Good night (1027) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..

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  (404): He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing.. http://tfl.nu/8ij4
  Replies (10) Good night (390) Bad night (1146)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave

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  (608): I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave http://tfl.nu/hose
  Replies (4) Good night (630) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.

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  (778): I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/uqop
  Replies (6) Good night (447) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.

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  (618): If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies. http://tfl.nu/67ah
  Replies (2) Good night (656) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE

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  (443): Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE http://tfl.nu/r2uu
  Replies (4) Good night (728) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.

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  (416): Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now. http://tfl.nu/rhwt
  Replies (12) Good night (265) Bad night (666)

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