You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Come see our sink grown plant.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.