didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
ok i will unlock the door
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
These 21 FaceApped Celebrities Will Make You LOL
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.