Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(830): View more from Texas

I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.

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(830): I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk. http://tfl.nu/s9wt

Replies (33) Good night (1053) Bad night (585)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.

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(201): remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal. http://tfl.nu/yu6k

Replies (5) Good night (1243) Bad night (631)
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(972): View more from Texas

Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.

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(972): Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition. http://tfl.nu/d2b2

Replies (20) Good night (2581) Bad night (816)
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(913): View more from Kansas

The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.

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(913): The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them. http://tfl.nu/9puy

Replies (22) Good night (8445) Bad night (832)
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(705): View more from Ontario

I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.

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(705): I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless. http://tfl.nu/v2dr

Replies (36) Good night (4647) Bad night (1391)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down

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(973): not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down http://tfl.nu/e11q

Replies (6) Good night (4298) Bad night (1284)
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(206): View more from Washington

I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.

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(206): I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me. http://tfl.nu/t4ey

Replies (3) Good night (1168) Bad night (3120)
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(706): View more from Georgia

just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.

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(706): just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was. http://tfl.nu/tfbm

Replies (5) Good night (719) Bad night (1826)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night

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(+44): oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night http://tfl.nu/5l2j

Replies (11) Good night (3599) Bad night (1466)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.

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(317): Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom. http://tfl.nu/x6uc

Replies (17) Good night (3767) Bad night (1544)
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(419): View more from Ohio

Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.

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(419): Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed. http://tfl.nu/x4xs

Replies (4) Good night (1740) Bad night (1065)
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(480): View more from Arizona

Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon

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(480): Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon http://tfl.nu/8tqm

Replies (3) Good night (794) Bad night (687)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.

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(602): I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets. http://tfl.nu/wv2q

Replies (10) Good night (1428) Bad night (583)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!

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(262): I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait! http://tfl.nu/9r4q

Replies (10) Good night (2554) Bad night (675)
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(516): View more from New York

you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?

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(516): you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call? http://tfl.nu/y8f9

Replies (5) Good night (330) Bad night (723)

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