Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(307): View more from Wyoming

yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP

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(307): yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP http://tfl.nu/4nbd

Replies (8) Good night (3217) Bad night (755)
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(716): View more from New York

Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.

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(716): Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise. http://tfl.nu/ygq6

Replies (14) Good night (4571) Bad night (660)
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(626): View more from California

Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.

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(626): Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is. http://tfl.nu/41jw

Replies (24) Good night (18299) Bad night (1047)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then

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(651): I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then http://tfl.nu/awn6

Replies (9) Good night (637) Bad night (4298)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....

(1-630): View more from Illinois

which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?

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(630): I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons.... (1-630): which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father? http://tfl.nu/vh34

Replies (31) Good night (1174) Bad night (5430)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...

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(617): Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh... http://tfl.nu/to9x

Replies (16) Good night (4711) Bad night (1033)
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(647): View more from Ontario

You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep

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(647): You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep http://tfl.nu/2p4s

Replies (17) Good night (5655) Bad night (1030)
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(905): View more from Ontario

She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up

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(905): She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up http://tfl.nu/duhi

Replies (25) Good night (4205) Bad night (1184)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...

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(484): someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again... http://tfl.nu/xp70

Replies (3) Good night (2232) Bad night (944)
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(845): View more from New York

I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting

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(845): I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting http://tfl.nu/p4gt

Replies (14) Good night (6631) Bad night (1166)
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(785): View more from Kansas

apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man

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(785): apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man http://tfl.nu/lmge

Replies (5) Good night (1718) Bad night (574)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?

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(615): Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ? http://tfl.nu/0u6g

Replies (5) Good night (2225) Bad night (931)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?

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(423): Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina? http://tfl.nu/kprk

Replies (5) Good night (1063) Bad night (558)
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(317): View more from Indiana

This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.

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(317): This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me. http://tfl.nu/qrey

Replies (3) Good night (913) Bad night (393)
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(818): View more from California

So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway

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(818): So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway http://tfl.nu/rhtw

Replies (1) Good night (624) Bad night (336)

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