I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here