I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
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Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
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So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it