so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
