I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
