Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
