Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
